A tribute to my parents" I am sorry" on Mother's day 08.

Dearest Daddy & Mommy,

I really love both of you. You are the world to me.

Pls don't cane me; I am really a good boy. I am doing my best, just like you have always taught me.

I cry because that is what I know best; I have known this since birth, and I am still learning to manage my many different emotions. They are hard to explain in words (in the first place, I don't know that many words), and my body feels funny and I don't know why. So pls don't ask me what's wrong; I don't know how to explain, 'cos I really don't know what is wrong. I only know pain, after I get canned.

Sometimes I don't understand why you get so upset with the emotions I am feeling but I cannot explain in words. Didn't you get those funny emotions when you were young?

I love Mommy so much! I can't bear to let her go every single time. I am afraid of what happens after she is gone. How would I know if she will be back for me? I cannot bear to let her go. Maybe I can learn to draw my emotions out, but I will still cry my heart out. How can I not love Mommy? I don't understand what it means by not being attached to Mommy. I know I will be a strong boy some day, but right now, I don't think I am ready...

I don't like to vomit, you know. It is yucky, makes my mouth sour. But when I cry really long and hard, my body does that to me & I can't help it. I hate it when my mouth feels yucky, and my body feels pain from the caning. Come to think of it, maybe that could be part of the reasons why I cry; I know that all this funny feelings are coming, and I just hate that part of the day, so I cry...

Daddy & Mommy, would you please give me some time? I will be ok some day, at my own time. Yes, I am a high need boy, but you know, many geniuses were also high need children. I think I will grow up to be a Sensitive New Age Guy (Aunty Carol told me that, but I don't understand what it means...).

I will miss my friends from school...but I love you both, and know that God will give you the wisdom to raise me up the way I should be.


Love,
Joshua